Irresistible
by Her sister's keeper
Summary: When their band is invited to collaborate with the super popular 'The Knights of Ren', Poe, Finn and Rey think that their punk rock dreams have come true. Yet, beyond the tabloids and the flashing cameras, frontman Kylo Ren is almost ready to walk away from the music he used to love...until 'With the Resistance' walks into the studio and the singer finds his heart in his throat.
1. Crushcrushcrush

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Finn looked over at his bandmates, frown on his face as the car came to a stop before DeathStar Studios. Poe shrugged, nudging him playfully. "I mean, it's not like we have to do anything. It's mainly Rey they want." He smiled broadly at their bassist and lead singer as she fingered her instrument nervously. "Isn't that right, sunshine?"

Her nose crinkled at the guitarist's question. "They asked for all of us here... They probably want you and Finn to help produce the track or maybe offer your opinions on what to tweak with the original." She swung the car door open, hazel eyes squinting in the bright L.A. Sun, her mouth crinkling. Rey knew that she should be excited, that it was a huge honor that her band— _With the Resistance_ — was being featured on a song with one of the most popular bands on the music scene, but she couldn't work past her unease. Poe had been ecstatic when their manager had called them, told them that _The Knights of Ren_ wanted to collaborate, that they wanted Rey's voice on their new single, but Finn, like her, had been a bit suspicious, like it was too good to be true.

Yes, their band was fairly successful- they had just finished their first headlining tour, and had seen their first album blow up on the charts- but this was _Knights of Ren_ , for crying out loud. They were veterans in the industry, the alternative genre's golden geese, and everyone's favorite band, including hers. Rey smirked to herself, remembering that it was by doing a cover of one of their songs did _Resistance_ get discovered: "Welcome to the First Order," if she remembered the song right. She glanced over at Finn, wondered how he was taking it. Before he joined _Resistance_ a few years ago, he had been a drummer with them on tour, and he wouldn't talk about the experience, saying only that it was a learning experience, and that he was quite happy where he was now, thank you very much.

Rey smiled at her bandmates before stepping out into the parking lot, looking around, musing aloud, "Are they already in the studio?" Poe frowned, consulting his phone and the text that manager Leia Organa had sent the night before. "She said that they were supposed to meet us here, that they wouldn't be in the studio until we were here." Finn snorted. "They're rockstars. They're going to be fashionably late,bringing the paparazzi with them."

Rey frowned, shook out her short hair, fuming a bit. You'd think that people would have more manners, but she couldn't say that she was surprised. Despite being her favorite performers, _The Knights of Ren_ weren't known for being nice. The band was often in the tabloids after a major award show, or any big party for that matter, often because of frontman Kylo Ren's bad behavior. Her cheeks tinged a bit when she thought about that particular member of _KoR,_ remembering how much the guys had teased her on their first tour about how many posters she had of Kylo in her area of the tour bus.

Yes, Hux on bass and backup vocals was a ginger dream come true, and Phasma was an Amazonian goddess in her own right, but Rey would be a goddamn liar if she said that Kylo Ren wasn't her all of her middle school punk wet dreams combined in one person. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark persona... she was surprised that she was keeping her shit together right now. She took a deep breath, shaking her head and turning back to the car, leaned in to grab her bass.

By the time she turned back, cars were flooding into the parking lot. Rey looked over at her bandmates in confusion until Poe pointed out the sleek ebony town car that was screeching to a stop several yards away. Finn's smirk was unmistakable, his eyes dancing with a spark of "I called it!" pride, and Rey had to focus on him so as not to stare when the paparazzi practically flew out of their cars, wanting to be the first ones to catch a picture of _KoR_ heading into the studio to record their next hit.

The door opened, and at the first glimpse of a head of shiny black hair, Rey found herself dizzy and falling back, no amount of deep breathing stopping the fangirl- turned- singer from swooning there in the parking lot. Poe and Finn did their best to pick her up, but it's hard when suddenly a paparazzo is shouting to _Come look, it's Rey and With The Resistance_ and then a swarm of cameras descends to snap pictures, no matter how awkward. Poe glanced at Finn, amused and yet pissed as the other band didn't stop to help, walking quickly into the studio. "Did you expect this, drummer boy?"

Finn smiled back weakly, offering up only, "Turn Rey's head to the right- Leia's gonna be pissed that the paps got us, but let's at least show them our good side."


	2. That's What You Get

Kylo sat alone in the recording studio, his mood dark, his patience thin. It had been twenty minutes since his band showed up at the studio. They were all set up, ready to record, ready to get this over with and their collaborators were still getting mobbed by the paparazzi. He sighed. _Amateurs._

Still, he couldn't help but be a bit grateful to the young band, taking the attention off him like that. He was so tired of being hounded by the paparazzi, and despite Phasma and Hux seeming to enjoy it despite the five plus years of dealing with photographers' shit, he had been fully prepared to punch the first guy who snapped a picture today. What a headline that would have made, he snorted, picturing it: _Kylo Ren Throws ANOTHER TANTRUM!_ He stretched as he stood now, curious where his drummer and bassist went, why they weren't here, commiserating about their circumstances. Because of their almost daily appearances in the tabloids and trashy gossip magazines, their manager had insisted that they clean up their act, starting with a duet between Kylo and Rey from _With the Resistance._

It had taken Kylo weeks to agree, and he was sure that Hux was pissed with him still for being a 'diva', but he wasn't going out of this business without being damn sure of the song. Yeah, that's right- Kylo Ren, popular bad boy since the age of seventeen when _KoR_ started- was thinking of walking away from music. It pained him, but he couldn't stand the invasion of privacy that was just his day to day life. He hated that, no matter how badly he behaved, no matter how many hearts he broke, everyone would still love him and want to be with him. The hypocrisy made him sick.

So yeah, he had taken his time to decide whether or not to put energy into the project. He nearly said no, had wanted to. But then he found a video of _With the Resistance_ , when they were on tour the year before. Saw how excited they were, how in love with the music they seemed to be. He recognized the drummer, Finn, and congratulated him in his head that he got out of _KoR_ when he did. Kylo even gave Poe, the playboy of a guitarist, props, feeling in awe of the skills the man had with his instrument, almost feeling inadequate with his own guitar playing. But it was the girl that cemented his decision.

For one thing, she was _hot_. Kylo would personally have no trouble bending her over and fucking her speechless, he had decided when she had walked on stage, wearing simple cutoffs, a light shirt, a vest. But even now, he remembered the feeling that he got in his gut when she opened her mouth and sang. Jesus Christ. Kylo hadn't expected the urge to marry another singer, let alone one in his genre (he'd be the first to tell you that emo/alternative singers were a bit messed up), but he would be a liar if he claimed that the thought hadn't crossed his mind. Especially when they ended the show doing a cover of one of his songs. Hearing one of his angry breakup songs coming through her lips, drawn out slow and haunting had been enough to send him texting his band, giving in.

He wouldn't admit it, of course. Didn't want to give her a big head. At least, that's what he thought. He wouldn't tell her either way. Especially now that she was walking into the booth, and he found his mouth dry and he wasn't sure if he could speak. Kylo coughed, flustered, even as Rey smiled nervously at him. "Sorry about the hold up. We," she gestured between herself and her partners as they filed into the opposing side of the recording studio's glass, "have never dealt with paparazzi like that." She giggled, and Kylo internally groaned, wishing that the sound wouldn't go straight to his groin, that she had turned out to be diva that he could respect but resent.

This is going to be hell, he decided as he handed her headphones, tried to ignore her excited dance as she stepped next to him, up to the mic. With her at his side, Kylo suddenly felt excited to begin recording, something that he hadn't felt in a while. He glanced over at her... and missed his cue to start singing. Kylo could practically feel Phasma's arched eyebrow, hear Hux's angry sigh, but he didn't particularly care, especially as Rey smiled over at him, letting him know that it was okay.

They finally nailed it on the third take, and Kylo almost wished that it had taken longer, but he didn't mind. He had a feeling that he'd be seeing a lot of Rey and _With the Resistance_ in the next few weeks.


	3. Thnks fr th Mmrs

Hux wasn't liking what he was seeing. He had been watching Kylo Ren flirt with that singer for the past fifteen minutes, and frankly, he was disgusted. This wasn't how Kylo acted. Every since he had met that girl, Hux knew there was going to be trouble, that she'd be the reason the band broke up, being around, distracting his lead singer and such.

Of course, nobody believed him. Phasma had outright laughed at him when he had come to her, whining about how this wasn't good, that this was the end. She even threw a magazine at him. Hux didn't have to read it, of course: he knew what was on the cover.

 _Rockstar Bad Boy Kylo Ren: Has He Reformed?!_

 _10 Things to Know About Rey from_ With the Resistance _, Kylo's New Sweetheart!_

 _Reylo: Will They Last?! New Steamy Pics say Yes; Kylo's Love History says No!_

That's all that was on the covers anymore, especially after Kylo slipped up and let himself be photographed with Rey- Hux tensed up at the name- leaving a restaurant, and not the one he took all his dates to before fucking them. No, to his _dad's_ restaurant. Rey had met Ren's family after only two weeks of meeting him. The band only met the family after two years together. The

"Fucking hell, Hux, chill out. He's behaving himself. Let him live." He jumped, face turning as red as his hair as his usually quiet drummer walked up behind him, having emerged from the makeup trailer on set. The song had completely blown up the charts, and was currently still sitting at the number one spot for the fifth week in a row. Both bands' managers were thrilled, so they had arranged for a music video to be shot. It seemed that Hux was the only one who wasn't excited.

Phasma sighed, exasperated with the brooding bassist, glancing over his head to look at the love-birds themselves. She had to admit: they worked, and looked, well together. She watched Kylo fumble for a moment, his blushing ears being bright enough to be seen in the distance. Rey was laughing, doubling over, arms crossed, face joyful. Phasma smiled, but then suddenly quirked to a frown. While she didn't agree with Hux that this relationship would be the downfall of the band, she was worried- for Rey's sake.

Here she was, petite, sweet, young. Phasma didn't know much about the girl, but she could guess that she was starstruck, especially with her idol seeming to fall for her. Who wouldn't be? But still, Phasma knew Kylo. Though he seemed sincere right now, it wouldn't be long until something went awry. It always did with Ren.

Pushing Hux off and away towards the makeup trailer, the blonde glanced over again at the flirting pair. For Rey's sake, she hoped she was wrong. She'd hate to see such a talent get chewed up and spat out by love this early in her career. She sighed again, turning and walking off, hearing Hux call for her.

The ginger twat probably wanted to bitch more about Ren. Phasma rubbed her temples, grimaced, and disappeared into the trailer.


	4. Ghost

Finn looked over at his bandmates as he shifted awkwardly in his costume. He was a bit surprised by the music video's premise, especially considering that is was mainly a _Knights of Ren_ production. They went for the weird concepts, the ornate costumes, the complex story lines. Maybe it was because they were trying to accommodate _With the Resistance_ did they choose to go simpler, more modern, this time around. The set was constructed as a carnival, and despite being grown adults, the trio had run about, playing games, laughing at how Rey looked like a punk version of Sandy from _Grease_ , how the boys looked like teenagers again with their varsity jackets. They were excited and a bit relieved that the concept was something they were more familiar with.

Still, Finn could see the smirk quirking on Rey's mouth when their eyes met in the mirror, her raised eyebrows seeming to say, _Yeah, I'm surprised that we aren't in suit coats and corsets._ The drummer focused in on what Poe was saying as he smoothed out their singer's ponytail. (Despite being offered hair and makeup services on set, _WtR_ had declined, still not being used to getting fawned over. Besides, Rey insisted that Poe's fingers were more talented than any hairdresser's in Hollywood, and Finn had to agree, citing the guitarist's always nice looking locks as evidence.) Despite the bobby pin pinched in his mouth, Poe's words were clear, but quiet.

"So Rey... You and Kylo, huh?" The two men watched the girl they considered as their honorary sister blush to a deep crimson, her cheeks nearly matching her lipsticked mouth. She turned in her chair, looking up at them. "We're only friends. Trust me, guys." The look the two boys exchanged was not lost on Rey, especially as Poe wickedly grinned, pulling a magazine from where it had been rolled and tucked in his back pocket.

"Are you absolutely sure, Rey? The paparazzi and their pictures seem to tell a different story." Her face heated up even more, and she swatted at the guitarist, glaring at Finn as he chuckled. "Leave it to you two to take that garbage seriously." She studied the magazine cover, wondered if she'd ever be used to her face on the front page, especially when her name was linked to bad boy Kylo. Rey knew that her band mates were concerned, and that she had been dodging their questions ever since she started hanging out with the _KoR_ frontman, but they should know by now, she reasoned.

She wasn't stupid. Rey knew that Hux didn't particularly like her, and that Phasma was in the same camp as Poe and Finn. They were worried, because they knew Kylo's style of dating. But they forgot that she also was aware of his history, that she had been wary when he had approached her that first day of recording. Her lips curled into a little smile now, despite herself.

He hadn't minced words, inviting her to dinner that night. She had managed to roll her eyes at him and shut him down, despite her inner fangirl squealing and her stomach flipping about. Rey remembered how stunned he had looked, and she had wondered if the dark haired punk god never dealt with rejection before. She didn't trouble herself with the thought too much, turning and walking away from him, feeling a bit sad when he didn't follow.

But oh, was he stubborn. The next day when he approached, she expected him to be all self righteous, demanding to teach her about stage presence over filet mignon, or whatever it was that one of his former girlfriends had claimed. But he didn't say anything, instead plopping down next to her in the studio as she watched Poe record his guitar solo. Rey wasn't sure what his endgame was, but she did have to admit that she liked how his cologne smelled, and how his presence was so warm, despite the air conditioner on full blast in the studio.

It turned out that his strategy was to place himself near her, to make small talk, make her expect his presence and be put off if he didn't talk to her. She had hated to admit it, but it worked. She couldn't say that she was mad about it, though, since it was Kylo Ren who was pursuing her. Besides, he seemed to respect her. He had confessed to watching _With the Resistance_ 's tour videos, and that he liked her voice better than half the singers he had worked with before. She was used to this kind of talk, having met a few sleazeballs before at award shows and the occasional party she was dragged to, but he seemed sincere, his brown eyes holding her gaze, his hand reaching to gently hold hers, letting go before she realized that she had liked the heat his large palm gave off.

He got under her skin slowly, and gently, and had opened himself up to her in a way that she wasn't expecting. She knew that her bandmates were worried, but she couldn't help but wonder if they had glossed over the fact that he had her meet his family. His father, former bad boy of rock- turned- celebrity restaurant owner Han Solo, had invited them to dinner, having noticed that the tabloids about his son were positive for once ("positive" meaning that he hadn't destroyed anything at a show or party, that he hadn't been caught in bed with another heiress, or, in general, hadn't been a dick and shot his mouth off during an interview). Rey had been nervous to go, seeing that Kylo's mother was also her manager, but Leia Organa-Solo was more than happy to see the singer on the arm of her son, giving her giant of a son a look that seemed to say, "You hurt her, and I will take you down myself."

Rey still knew that Poe and Finn wouldn't completely understand what was going on between her and Kylo, but she just hoped that they would stop exchanging looks when Kylo walked into the room and made a beeline towards her. Like right now, as there was a knock on the trailer door and then the pale face of Kylo Ren peeked in, a smile breaking across his face when he saw her eyes already on him. She found herself standing now, approaching the door, leaning down now to peck him on the lips, feeling smug as she could practically hear the jaws hit the floor behind her.

Poe and Finn exchanged a wide eyed look as Rey followed Kylo out, the latter waving awkwardly but politely at the two, hurriedly explaining that the director was beckoning them to set. As the two men stepped into the summer sun, the drummer looked at his friend, muttering, "I'm still not sure about this." Poe punched his shoulder lightly, teasing, "You're just sad that you can't use Rey as an excuse not to date me anymore." Finn looked at the handsome man as they fell into step. "We've been dating for five months now, Poe. I'm fairly sure that I stopped using Rey as an excuse a while ago."

Despite his laughter, Finn knew that Poe was worried too, especially since Kylo Ren had deviated from his usual pattern. True, it may signal that he was ready to settle, that he wanted to settle with Rey and not look back, but the pair knew, that if things were to end badly, the breakup would be messier and more painful beyond the tabloids' imagination. Still, Finn tried to smile, slipping his hand into Poe's as they caught up to Rey, who smiled at them from where she was tucked against Kylo.

 _She's really happy_. Finn consoled himself with the fact, trying to fight off the gnawing sense of foreboding that plagued him.


	5. Sugar, We're Going Down

It had been a long day on set. A pleasant day, Kylo decided, but long, nonetheless. The day was rolling into night by ways of dusk: the sun setting, turning the horizon pink, purple, then blue. The director was instructing the crew into set up of the last shot of the day. The last shot of the video, Kylo mused, glancing over at his costar as he felt her step next to him. He smiled at her as she looked up at him, her face smeared with paint from one of the earlier shots, the face paint to be a little clever nod at an early video _KoR_ had released. He wasn't sure if it was a butterfly or a heart drawn in black on her cheek, but he kissed it all the same, watching her skin bloom red in the glow of the carnival lights.

He hadn't expected to become so close, so soon. They had barely known each other for a full two months, and yet she knew more of him than his band ever did. Rey teased that she could become president of his fan club with all the new information that she knew about him. It was a joke, of course—one of the reasons Kylo liked the singer so much was because she kept secrets well. He draped an arm around her shoulder, kissed her hair, perfectly content. The pair of them stood, watching the crew set up cameras so they could film a scene of the Ferris wheel.

"I'm scared of heights." Rey heard Kylo mutter, and she had to look up at him to see his eyes, dark but scared in the flashing lights around them. She took his hand, squeezed it. "You know that I'm with you the whole way, right? With everything."

He knew that her words were the promise the two had exchanged again and again. Despite only having two months between them, he felt that they had gone through quite a bit. She had met his family, put up with their shenanigans, stood by his side when he and his father got into their usual spat. He had personally seen to it that the creepy letters she got from a fan named Snoke stopped, had shown her the ropes of how to deal with the paparazzi ("Keep your head down, smile if you must, but look determined and like you're the one in charge. Don't let them shake you."). They had held each other, late after their bandmates retired to their rooms, drinking and laughing—or crying—over childhood, middle and high school. Only two months, yes—but in Hollywood, two months of serious dating was the equivalent of at least a year of casual dating, if not a whirlwind marriage.

Kylo glanced over at their two bands as they were ushered forward to step into their carriage. Poe and Finn regarded him carefully, as usual, but they were warming up to him. Phasma seemed to like Rey, waving back at the young singer, smiling. And then there was Hux. The singers exchanged looks, and despite his stomach flipping about as the mechanical frame lurched the two back, Kylo whispered, "I'm going to hawk a loogie on Hux."

A grin twitched on Rey's lips, and if it wasn't for the fact that cameras were trained on her, she'd have snorted. "Just because he doesn't like me?"

"Of course." He squeezed her hand, grateful that their only instructions for the scene were to be cute together. He looped his arm around her shoulder, trying not to focus on how the pod swayed a little, how high they were getting.

She could hear the music below them, smiling at him as she leaned forward to cup his face, humming along with her part of the song. Kylo smiled at her, wondering when he, the punk king, had softened to be the knight of an Alt queen. It probably didn't matter too much when, because he decided that now would be the time he showed her how serious he was.

"I'm not going to party anymore." Rey's smile shrunk by a molar or two, confused. "Come again?"

"I know that you don't like it when I party." He pulled her closer, not caring if the cameras and microphones heard him. "I know that you don't like me being in the tabloids all the time, so I'm giving it up. I don't need it." He pressed a kiss to her brow. "Not now that I have you."

Rey's grin and her exclamation of gratitude were all but drowned out by a yell from the ground. Kylo rolled his eyes.

Hux.

So the microphones did pick that up. The _KoR_ lead singer looked at his counterpart, saw her smirk mischievously. In tandem, they leaned forward (carefully, for Kylo's sake) and summoned as much spit as they could before letting it fly, descending rapidly.

Their laughter nearly overtook Hux's surprised shriek, let alone the director's self satisfied call of "That's a wrap!" Apparently it gave the crew a jolt of joy to see the diva get his just desserts.


	6. There's a Good Reason

Hux stood back, watching Kylo as he posed with Rey, red carpet plush under their feet. It was a week after production for the music video had finished up, and the _KoR_ bassist was still fuming about getting spit on… and it being caught on camera. Had it been edited out, perhaps the redhead could brush it off. But everyone else, even the label, loved it. Now the video was set to premiere here, at MTV's Video Music Awards. He internally cringed at the thought, outwardly keeping a stoic face for the cameras.

Phasma passed by, and he turned back, half expecting her to pause and pose with him, but the blonde Amazonian strode on. He watched the drummer make a beeline to Kylo and Rey, the girls hugging and their laughter getting caught on camera. Hux could see, out of the corner of his eye, a photographer set up a shot to be used on all the magazine covers tomorrow. Him, standing alone as his bandmates laughed and cozied up with another bassist.

It didn't matter that Rey would probably never leave her bandmates. It didn't matter that Kylo seemed content to stay on with the band. What mattered was that everyone around them, himself included, was expecting Hux to be given the boot by the label, to be replaced in one way or another. _Wouldn't that be interesting,_ he heard in the crowd's buzz, the interviewers' questions, _if The Knights of Ren was two-thirds female. I don't think we've ever seen that kind of band in our genre!_

He didn't quite care if he was openly glaring at Rey now. He didn't particularly care that she was looking back at him, even now as she was being ushered inside, tucked protectively next to Kylo. Hux thought back to the promise Kylo made to her.

 _I know that you don't like it when I party. I know that you don't like me being in the tabloids all the time, so I'm giving it up. I don't need it. Not now that I have you._

The thin smile that crept on Hux's face widened, inch by inch, as an idea formed, picking up little flecks of manipulation and lies that he'd have to carry out. _Kylo doesn't need parties because he has Rey? What would happen if she was taken away?_

By now, the smile was a full blown, toothy smirk, and he barked out a laugh as he turned and sauntered towards the door, taking pleasure in Kylo's suspicious face. He loved how Rey recoiled from his touch as he took her other arm, having to give in for the cameras. Hux calmed the grin to a simper, but his head was already whirling from all the possibilities. One thing was for sure: he would be too preoccupied to even care about that stupid music video.


	7. This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race

The cigarette smoke that clouded the air was putrid, and Rey could feel her lungs seize before she coughed again, pushing her way through the mass of sweaty bodies. She nodded and smiled politely at the various celebrities that called out to her, invited her to their circle. She waved them off, accepting compliments about the recently aired music video and sidestepping questions about her boyfriend. She had spent the past half hour looking for him, but with the music blaring (there was one of her songs playing now, a nice upbeat track about cheating and breakups) and people screaming around her, she was about ready to give up.

The award show had ended hours ago, and she wasn't sure how she ended up at the after party, but she was sure that it was Hux's fault.

Kylo had initially brushed off his bandmate's offer to party, but it had been Rey that gave in, gave permission. She could've kicked herself now, wondering why she let Hux's taunts get to her. "Kylo is not whipped—he just wanted to stick to his promise." She muttered under her breath, swiping her hair back, cursing the many bobby pins keeping her updo up. She was suddenly glad that she had decided against a dress tonight, wincing as she nearly avoided yet another drink being spilled on her black romper.

It was then did she spot the familiar mop of red hair, and she found herself grabbing Hux by the shoulder before he could stalk away. "Where's Kylo?" The smile he flashed her made her squirm, but she pushed on, asking again, face sour. Hux hiked his thumb over his shoulder. "Last I saw him, he was on the couch in the back."

Rey turned away, stomach churning with a small sense of dread. She didn't understand why she was feeling like this; she trusted Kylo, she did, but the smirk that Hux threw her way as she walked away made her question that trust. The uneasy feeling grew as she approached couch, and she would have reached it sooner if it wasn't for the bodies pushing her away.

"Rey."

"Rey! Come on, let's get out of here."

"You don't want to see." It was Poe and Finn, trying to turn her around. She opened her mouth to ask what they were doing here, that she hadn't seen them since the show, but the look they exchanged made her mouth clamp shut. She ducked under their arms, ignoring their pleas to come back.

When she saw Kylo, she wished that she had listened. The girl on his lap was raven haired and leggy, her lipstick smeared across the face of Rey's boyfriend—well, now ex-boyfriend. His head jerked her way as she let out a choked whine, the sob getting stuck in her throat from shock.

There was no option for her, besides running, running past her bandmates, past the celebrities who now looked on with pity but without disbelief, past Hux who still smiled. She couldn't risk a confrontation, knowing that it would be pasted on every magazine's front page in the morning.

It would already be bad enough that his indiscretion would be on the covers, with her weeping face proclaiming how heartbroken she was. For once, the tabloids wouldn't be exaggerating. Her gut was twisting, and she felt that if she stopped running, she would vomit. The past three, almost four, months played back in her mind and she gulped for air as sobs wracked her frame. All those kisses, his sweetness, his promise.

Lies. Lies that toppled down with another kiss, with an hour at a party.

She heard her name, heard his voice, but she continued pushing past people, finally reaching the club's door. It flew open with a bang, and it would be later that night, in the car on the way home, that she would realize that she had slammed the door open in her anger.

When she did turn around, there, in the rain slicked street, she expected it to be, _hoped_ it to be Kylo. She knew that he'd only lie to her, say that he loved her, that it was a big misunderstanding, get off with a slap on the wrist, as always. But she wanted him to convince her. Her throat burned with her tears, fist to her lips, trying to compose herself, trying to come to terms with her emotions.

She hated him for making her the fool. Hated him for thinking that he could get away with it. But still, she wanted him to come through that door and sweep her in his arms, tell her sweet things, kiss away her worries and tears. She wanted to be his fool, had wanted to be his fool since meeting him in that recording studio. Rey turned away from the door, and then looked back as she heard a skittering of footsteps.

Poe and Finn. Finn looked ready to swoop her up and away, take her home and shield her in the house the band shared. Poe was dragging someone by the collar, and by the height difference, she knew who it was before her guitarist threw him at her feet.

Kylo looked up at her, not dazed, not quite resigned, but still recognizing what was to come. She looked down at him, ashamed that she couldn't be as calm and as collected as him, that she was still crying. She made a move, as if to strike him, and Kylo recoiled slightly, but the hit never landed. He looked up at the girl he had just broken and bit his lip. He wanted to explain.

He didn't get the chance, not that she would have believed him. Rey turned away, trying to stop her lips from trembling as she murmured, "I believe we're done here." The statement was small, but so is a bullet, reasoned Kylo as he stared at her back, even when Poe smacked him, even when the first photographer's camera flashed.

Their song was playing in the club now. The irony was not lost on Kylo as he watched _With the Resistance_ walk away, Rey between her two bandmates who hovered over her protectively, trying to guide themselves through the paparazzi chaos unfolding around them, not unlike the first time.

Inside the club, looking on, was Hux. His smirk was breaking into a full on grin that didn't escape Phasma's notice as he sauntered past to the bar. She took a sip of her martini and followed. Knowing Hux, she had a feeling that this was his fault. She debated her next move to rectify the evening as she strode on through the party, escaping notice as the partygoers focused on the spectacle outside.

* * *

Author's Note: It gets better! It really does! Just bear with me!


	8. Playing God

Phasma let Kylo stew for a week before she made her appearance, letting herself into the penthouse apartment, nodding at the doorman as he let her in. It had been a week since the breakup, and the media was still going crazy, Hux doing nothing but fanning the flame. Frankly, the drummer was sick of it, and had told Hux as much. It was because of him that the incident at the club had happened, the reason that tabloid hounds still followed Rey everywhere she went now. There was another piece being run on her, the singer's eyes puffy from tears and lack of sleep, a face that the blonde drummer shook her head sadly at when she saw that the tv was on in the apartment.

Kylo, despite having been rejected and kicked to the curb, seemed to be keeping tabs on the other singer. Phasma sighed, clicking off the tv as she strode past, picking her way across the trashed apartment. Curtains hung haphazardly on the floor, as they had surely been yanked from the rod. More than once, she had to step over a vase, a lamp, something shattered dangerously.

It was when she came to the bedroom door, with a hole punched straight through, did she become exasperated. The fact that she could see him buried under a tangle of sheets, vodka and whiskey bottles cluttering the side tables, without opening the door was ridiculous. She turned away.

A few minutes later, Kylo woke up, blurry eyed and drenched. At first, he thought it was only sweat, but no, there was Phasma, pitcher held aloft, unimpressed face present. "So glad you decided to join us today, Solo." He heard her drawl his family name, nearly said something but opted for silence, mopping his wet face.

"Did Hux send you?"

"I suppose you could say that." To his curious look, she elaborated, shrugging, "I decided to get your side of the story. I was sick of how Hux told the story. Spill." He glared at her suspiciously, a look that was only met with another shrug.

"You don't have to tell me. You can drink yourself into another stupor, if you want. But I know that something doesn't add up from that night, and I know that you know too." She sighed, glancing at the floor, at the many magazines with Rey's face plastered on scattered across before looking again at her bandmate. There was regret etched into his brow, into the bags under his eyes. His cheeks had extensive stubble, a look that was good on him, but highly unusual for the clean shaven singer.

Kylo held her gaze for a moment before his face dropped to his hands and he groaned. "I remember that I lost track of Rey when she went to the bathroom. I was a bit drunk, but when she didn't come back right away… I got anxious. I wandered around a little, and people kept buying me drinks…" Despite herself, Phasma found herself patting his shoulder. She used to be the first one to chide Kylo back when parties and kissing girls were no problem, back before Rey. She wasn't used to listening to this narrative with pity. Exasperation, yes, but never like this.

Guilt gnawed at her a bit, knowing how the story went, having coaxed it out of a very drunk Hux a few nights ago, but she still pushed on. "What happened next, Kylo?" She heard him sniff, tried not to make a face when he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"I sat down—I think Hux helped me find the couch—and he told me to stay put, have another drink. He brought this girl back, said she would look after me while he went to find Rey." He looked at Phasma, voice pleading. "I didn't kiss her first. I didn't kiss her back. I didn't want her."

The drummer grimaced, and despite herself, pulled him into a side hug. "I know, bud." He heard her sigh and mutter, "Hux set you up."

"What?" Kylo hurdled from the bed, fists up, and Phasma sighed again, rubbing her temples. "He's not here, dumbie. Why would he be? He got what he wanted."

"Why would he do that? How did he do it?" From the quiet intensity in his voice, she could tell that he almost didn't want the answer, that he would only want to kill him all the more, but still, it was her duty. "It's obvious, isn't it? He was jealous. Thought you were going to leave the band for Rey…or worse, replace him." She rose, looked at him evenly as she admitted, "I got Hux drunk. Really drunk. He wouldn't shut up about it. The girl was paid. It's not all on you. It's on him."

Kylo turned to her, considering her words quietly. "I want to ruin him. "

"You want Rey back." Phasma corrected him, snapping her fingers at him when he tried to look down. "You know it's true. You can't tell me that you don't—I've seen your apartment. Her face is practically everywhere."

"She won't want me back."

"Maybe not Kylo Ren. But Ben Solo…" She watched his eyebrow quirk as she broke into a full on grin for the first time. "I talked to the label—let them know about our friend Hux. There's a press conference this afternoon, if you cared to join me."

She winked at him, snickering, "I was thinking of renaming the band _Going Solo._ Just to stick it to Hux. You in?"

Kylo glanced over his shoulder, at his apartment, destroyed in his rage before he succumbed to losing himself in liquor. His gaze travelled to the magazines that littered the floor, focusing on a cover. Rey, her face bright with laughing from earlier the night it all fell apart. He wanted that light back in his life.

"I'm in." He heard Phasma's happy harrumph, turning back to her and looking past her to his closet. "I should probably shower." His hand flew to his face, self-conscious. "And shave."

"Nah. Keep the stubble. You aren't Kylo Ren anymore." She was in his closet, tossing clothes at him. "Hurry up! We have to reintroduce you to the world."


	9. Fences

Rey glanced over at the boys as she tuned up. She knew that they were nervous, seeing that it was their first day back in the studio this month. Still, that didn't explain why they were staring at her like that. The singer turned to them, eyebrows raised. "What?"

She huffed as Finn stuttered out, "Are you sure you're ready?" Poe sighed as Rey all but ignored the question, slinging her bass's strap over her shoulder, gripping at the instrument's neck as she stepped up to the mic. The boys shared a glance before they acquiesced, setting themselves up for the recording session. They could see their manager, Leia Organa-Solo, on the other side of the glass, looking at Rey, face creased with worry.

They had all warned Rey not to worry about coming back to the studio right away, but she had insisted. She had spent the past week locking herself away to write new songs, to practice, attempting to lose herself in the music. She didn't understand why this wasn't like any other breakup—this wasn't her first time being cheated on. Hell, not even the first time she had been hounded by the paparazzi. But this fallout with Kylo was the first time she felt ready to have a breakdown. She had had a breakdown, she corrected herself, wincing. Rey was not used to such intensity—she had been expecting to weep uncontrollably, but that awful night saw her sheet music in a massive heap on the floor, at least two bass strings snapped, her voice disappearing for a few days from a jointless, wrathfully mournful scream that had bounced off the condo walls, had the boys afraid for her.

The boys had sat by, tucking her in bed, acting as her publicists that night into the next morning, repeating a chorus of "No comment" and "Miss Kenobi is not available for comment." It had been Finn who had coaxed her to eat, even when she refused. It had been Poe who informed their manager about the incident with Rey and Kylo. Both of her friends had stayed by her side, held her hand when she had to venture out of their condo for the first time since the incident, had stayed up with her those long nights that tears were frequent and free falling. As such, they were there to hear her first hesitant lyrics, had consoled her and convinced her that her anger was okay, to get it out.

They hadn't expected her to write an album's worth of songs, but she did. They hadn't expected her to want to record them herself—Poe had suggested she try selling them to other artists, to make it less obvious who the songs were about. She had shaken her head, looked up at him from the piano and said, "He needs to know what he has done. I need to get this out myself, or I'll be running from him for the rest of my career." Rey thought about that now as she heard Poe pluck at his strings experimentally, heard Finn ask, "Ready?" She nodded, trying to get a new thought out of her head.

As she heard her heartbeat in the moments before playing, she realized: every other romance she had had been easy to brush off and laugh about.

But then again, every other romance wasn't music worthy. This one was, had literally started from a song. Rey brushed off the thought as Finn counted off with his drumsticks, as Poe launched into the opening chords. This was only the recording session for the instrumental—vocals would come later, were supposed to come later. But Rey knew better, had asked for the mic to be set up for her specifically for this reason as she opened her mouth and unleashed her rage. She lost herself in singing, ignoring that her sweet voice was an oxymoron when mixed with the bitter lyrics, focusing only on the sense of relief that she expected to fill her.

Across from her, behind the glass, Leia had her eyes closed. Despite herself, she found herself keeping time with her foot, her heel gently tapping into the carpet. She knew who the lyrics were about, had been running interference the past few weeks, especially when her son made the announcement that sent his bassist packing. The tv at her home had remained on for the rest of that day, and Han had tried to call their son, trying to get answers behind the sudden change, the new name for the band, and his old name renewed again

Her eyes opened, and her frown was soft on her face. Of course, he had returned to his birth name, but still had not returned home, had not renounced the limelight. _Perhaps it's for the best_ , the manager thought, wondering who she would betray more in this situation—her son, or these young artists who deserved to be heard. Leia only knew that she had yet to talk to him about the incident, both as the manager of his ex-girlfriend, and as his mother. She didn't like seeing her son hurt, but still, her heart ached for the girl on the other side of the glass, the girl who, despite her fingers flying perfectly over the bass, her voice still clear though pained, was on the verge of tears.

Leia excused herself, stepping into the hall, letting her head rest against the wall she found herself sitting against. She hoped that no one would walk by, but she couldn't hold in her sympathy anymore, a tear starting to make the journey across her time roughened cheek. The manager recognized herself in the face of Rey—heartbroken, confused, trying to find an answer in the one thing she could control. Leia had seen that face in the mirror many times during her years as Han's wife, remembering that face being her company at night when her husband would leave for yet another tour. There was another tear, and she tried to brush it away, knowing Rey wouldn't accept her tears, knowing that the singer expected her to side with Kylo.

The thought alone had more tears rushing to her eyes. As the song ended, as Rey tried to choke back the sob threatening to suffocate her, Leia put her head down and wept in the hallway, passerby be damned.


	10. New Perspective

**Quick Note!Concert scenes are a lot harder than I anticipated. I hope it works out, and I thought I'd provide you a quick list of songs that match Kylo's songs/tone. (Definitely recommend listening while reading!)**

 **1\. "The Take Over, The Breaks Over" by Fall Out Boy**  
 **2\. New Perspective by Panic! at the Disco**  
 **3\. Ready to Go (Get Me Out of My Mind) by Panic! at the Disco**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

He wasn't sure how Phasma had done it, but as Kylo looked out across the stage, towards the TV cameras, he knew that he owed her. Arranging the appearance on _Good Morning America_ wasn't too difficult—what with all the drama surrounding the reassembled band, as well as the breakup being still fresh in the audience's mind, _Going Solo_ was welcomed with open arms.

No, the hard part would come in a few minutes, when the cameras started rolling, when he would be crossing his fingers and hoping that Rey tuned in.

Their timing was no coincidence. As soon as Phasma had caught wind of _With the Resistance_ releasing their new album, and that the album was heavily influenced by the summer romance, she had moved quickly, calling every talk show to schedule a performance. (Of course, this had overbooked them, and Kylo was not looking forward to performing on only 2 hours of sleep, but he digressed.) This was their first stop of their impromptu "tour", and he could only hope that Rey was sticking to her morning routine, remembering the mornings after, when he'd wake up to the smell of coffee and George Stephanopoulos talking with Robin Roberts.

Nostalgia and regret twanged through him, and he fingered his guitar fretfully, becoming aware of the growing roar of the crowd. Phasma strode onstage, nodding to Kylo as she took her place at her drumset, beating out a rhythm experimentally. He looked to his left, almost expecting to see Hux plucking at his base, but there was only Mitaka, one of the recently hired touring musicians. He gave a nervous grin at the frontman, and despite himself, Kylo smiled back.

He could see the cameraman give a thumbs up, could hear a control room operator in his earpiece: "We're ready whenever you are, Mr. Solo." On screen, Kylo gave a curt nod before bounding forward, exhilaration beginning to course through him. "Good morning, America!" He crowed, and as the crowd went wild, he tried to hide his qualms.

 _Please, Rey. Turn on the TV._

* * *

At that moment, across the city, _With the Resistance_ was checking into their hotel room, having been invited to perform on _The Late Night Show._ Rey watched the boys whoop and holler, exploring their temporary home for the week, a smile tugging at her lips. She was glad that they were excited, glad that they were here with her, shuddering for a moment. A memory was tugging at her, reminding her that she'd have been here in New York earlier, had she still been with Kylo. He had promised to take her to the city when their schedules calmed down.

She shook her head, clicking on the TV. Jetlag or no, she wasn't about to disrupt her daily routine. Poe called her name, and she turned, walking into the next room, just as Kylo, onscreen, began singing.

* * *

It had been his plan to show her the songs he was writing. He had promised her an album's worth of songs, just as he had promised her a trip to New York. Kylo glanced offstage, as if he expected to see her in the wings. Instead, there was a stagehand, dancing along with the music.

That alone snapped him out of his reverie, and he faced the crowd again, slamming the last few chords of the first song, grinning at the reaction. It had been a while since he had stood on stage like this, risking something. The last time he had done that, he had just turned twenty, and _Knights of Ren_ were opening for _Fall Out Boy,_ their entire future resting on that performance.

Now his heart was on the line, and he idly plucked at the strings, aware that a million more eyes were watching him this time around. He just hoped that her eyes were on him too.

Kylo glanced up at the camera trained specifically at his face, smirking despite himself as an idea nudged him. "So you guys heard about what happened to me two weeks ago, right?"

The crowd looked stunned for a moment. They hadn't expected the singer to suddenly become candid, but still, a murmur rippled through the air, curiosity getting the better of them. "I lost a really special girl… because I'm a really stupid guy. But not as stupid as Hux." Now there was a chuckle circulating, and he had to bite back a glare as he thought about his former bandmate now.

"Want to know a secret?" The audience screamed, loving this playful confession, especially as their beloved singer leaned in with a wicked grin. "Hux is why we broke up. Because he's a jealous git who set me up. Which is also why he's not with us today."

Kylo could hear Mitaka's jaw hit the floor, and he laughed for the first time in a while. "But enough about me. This song is for Rey. If you're listening… I'm sorry."

* * *

Poe was pointing at the TV screen now, calling Rey frantically. Finn sat on the floor, stunned, scooting back a few inches when Rey joined them, his eyes glued to her ex-boyfriend. "Guys, I already had this turned on in the other room…. oh my god, is that Kylo?"

The trio were dumbstruck, frozen as the words trickled past their ears. " _Hux is why we broke up. Because he's a jealous git who set me up. Which is why he's not with us today."_ The camera panned to the former bassist's usual spot where a now awkward musician stood, waving bashfully.

 _"_ _But enough about me. This song is for Rey. If you're listening… I'm sorry."_

Rey recognized the tune, remembered him playing out chords over and over while on set for the music video. She had never heard it complete, but she was entranced as his fingers danced on the frets, his chest heaving just before he had his mouth to the mic, before words came soaring out.

Nothing in the world, she decided, sounded as heartbroken as he did, singing her name. Her hand was on her mouth, gripped tightly in a fist, a shudder wracking her frame. The singer turned to her bandmates, not sure if she could vocalize this feeling that tore at her chest. Rey glanced back at the screen, and never in her life had she wanted to know the lyrics so she could sing along.

"It's beautiful." Finn mumbled, watching Kylo grip the microphone, his knuckles white, his voice sincere. He only knew of one other singer who did that, and she was standing next to him, eyes frozen on the screen. Beside him was Poe, squinting at the screen.

"Isn't that…isn't that stage just up the street?" Rey's breath caught in her throat when Poe murmured that, and Finn was already running to the window to confirm, and suddenly, she knew that she had to be in that crowd.

"Can we… can we go?" The boys looked at her, jaws slack yet again. They glanced at each other, worry creasing their brows, but then they looked at Rey again and saw her eyes. To deny her would be cruel, despite knowing that she was risking her heart for him again. Still, Poe opened his mouth, began to say no, only for Finn to blurt out:

"Only if we come with you."

* * *

Phasma looked at Kylo, almost stunned as she watched him. She knew that he could perform—he often went all out, doing backflips while playing his guitar, flirting with the crowd. This though… this was a different side of him entirely.

This was the rawest she had ever heard his voice, thick and deep and smooth, despite a lump of tears tinging the lyrics with regret. When she had seen the song for the first time, she had known that it would be good, that it would shake people to the very root of their soul. She had heard him practice it, but now there was an urgent need in his voice, and she bit back a bitter smile.

He really loved that girl, didn't he? Any other time, she'd call him a fool. Yet with Rey… there was something different there. The girl had taken this rough man and made him human. Gone were the days of him being cheeky for the cameras, to get a rise out of the public. He was kinder now, and Phasma hoped to god that he got what he wanted as his voice faded out, as he lowered his head to collect himself despite the screaming approval.

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the crowd, and the people were parting. The drummer glanced back at the screen behind her, at what the cameras were zooming in on. Three people were approaching the stage, and their identities were cried out, excitement palpable.

* * *

Halfway across the country, Hux cursed, fist tightening around his glass of scotch. He knew that Kylo would pull something like this—he had expected that much since being forced to leave the band, and was currently having his publicist run damage control, denying Kylo's (albeit true) accusation. What Hux hadn't anticipated was Rey being in New York, let alone her believing Kylo enough to join him on stage at this current moment, her bandmates flanking her as well.

But what was that in her eyes? Hux squinted at the screen, smirking at the wariness in her eyes as she approached Kylo. He didn't need to see anymore, he decided, clicking the remote and watching the reunion black out, his reflection smug, mind was spinning with the possibilities he had seen in Rey's hesitant trust.


	11. Alone Together

Rey felt her breath catch in her throat the moment the car door shut behind her, and suddenly, she was questioning her sanity, having just stepped willingly into a car with Kylo Ren. Poe and Finn had somehow been coaxed into sharing a car with Phasma, and perhaps she hadn't been paying much attention when she was ushered to her car. She knew that it was only a few blocks until they reach her hotel again, when she would be free to escape, free to try and forget why she had given in to her need to see him.

In her head, she had rehearsed the moment that she would spit in Kylo's face, tell him that she was too good for him. Rey glanced at him from across the town car, wondered what her next move was. A month ago, she hadn't pictured the moment at hand, when he'd be within reach and at her mercy. Still, she let the silence sit between them, nerves fraying like a spent wire as she avoided his stare by averting hers, concentrating on the Times Square skyline.

He didn't expect anything different from her, having seen her wary eyes staring up at him on that stage. Kylo had hoped that she would have forgiven him, but he knew better, had been warned against that hope. His eyes slide to her face, to the lips that she seemed to be chewing in dread, her dark hazel eyes flickering everywhere but his face. A cough rumbled in the air, and it was when her eyes snapped to him did Kylo realize that the cough was his. He coughed again, trying to clear his throat as he attempted conversation.

"Rey…"

"Don't." Her hand was up, and she was sighing, knowing that she wasn't ready to have this conversation. The exhaustion from the last month's pent up feelings was beginning to seep into her skin, and she wished for home, wished for the studio and a microphone to hide behind. Rey met his eyes and wondered if he was exhausted too, his skin paler than she remembered, his eyes looking almost bruised.

"Just let me explain…"

"Why? So you can lie to me again? How stupid do you think I am, Ren?" He flinched at her small accusation, seeing the brave front beginning to crumble, lips trembling, brows furrowing in anger. His head nearly dipped, his eyes downcast, but he pushed himself to maintain eye contact, knowing that he deserved it as the singer clenched her hands, fists balling up on her knees.

"I spent the last month crying over you, Ren. I spent the last month of my life trying to get you out of my head, but you don't know how hard that is." Rey could feel tears welling in her eyes, and she grit her teeth. There would be no crying today. Not in front of him at least. She forced the lump in her throat down, cutting her eyes at him.

"I thought you were out of my system and then you pull this shit, and think that it'll all work out? Well, I'm sorry, but that's not how it works. You can't just blame Hux and expect instant forgiveness." She chuckled at herself, feeling a tear starting to fight its way past her barrier. It occurred to her that the car had stopped, that horns were blaring outside, that they must be stuck in a traffic jam, but suddenly, she didn't care about getting back to the hotel.

"I didn't expect forgiveness. I just wanted…"

"What did you want, Ren?" Rey knew that she was antagonizing him, her stomach twisting in guilt when he looked at his feet ashamed.

"I just wanted to see you again. I saw you on the news every day, and I know that it was because of me, and…"

"And you didn't try to call them off? The paparazzi were more interested in you this whole time. I'm so stupid…" Kylo glanced at Rey, her tired limbs folding up to her chest, trying to make herself smaller, more compact, as if to hide from him as her frame shook, sobs overtaking her voice. "I wanted you to call. I wanted you to explain. I wanted you to make me forget."

The pit in his stomach deepened when she confessed this, kicking himself for being a coward, for hiding himself when she needed him the most. A hiccup made her whole body shudder, and never before had he ever seen her so frail, even when he had broken her heart. He reached for her gingerly, but she shrank from him.

"Don't touch me, Kylo. Please." His name slid past her lips and she regretted it instantly, watching his hand stutter for a moment before he closed the space between them, scooping her up into his lap, cradling her head even as she struggled against him. He felt his mouth pushing out words, wondering if she would even listen to him.

"I didn't want her. I want you. I was stupid, and scared. I didn't think that you would want to hear from me." Kylo felt a lump choking him as he whispered. "I thought you hated me."

There wasn't an answer besides Rey going limp in his arms, her arms suddenly circling around his neck as she attempted to anchor herself. God, she wanted to hate him, but the proximity was proving to be her downfall.

"I do hate you." He knew she was lying, now that she was burying her face into the crook of his neck, the salt of her tears pricking at his skin. She felt a kiss on her temple, felt his fingers smoothing back her hair.

"I know. I hate me too." There was another bitter chuckle from Rey, and Kylo had to bite back a small smile when she looked up at him, her eyes wet and soft.

This wasn't forgiveness. He knew that, but he also knew that this was a possible second chance, a new hope for him. She made no move to disentangle herself, and he settled back, content with bearing this weight for as long as she'd let him.


	12. Ready to Go (Get Me Out of My Mind)

Rey couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach as she glanced out at the stage, waiting to emerge and begin the set. After the restless night she had had, having emerged from her car ride puffy eyed and almost too shell shocked to perform on the _The Late Show_ , Finn and Poe had expected their singer to call off the new invitation from _The Tonight Show_. She had waved them off, assured them that she was fine.

And she was. Really. No sign or word from Kylo, despite the emotional car ride, which had ended with his lips against her hand—polite, chaste, more acquaintances than former lovers. Rey was so sure that as long as it kept to that, stuck to that kind of script, she would survive her stay in New York. But then she heard her name, and she just had to turn.

Of course, there he was, looking confused but handsome, his suit tie loose, as if he had been wrestling it off when he happened upon her. Of course her heart was suddenly in her throat, her hands gripping her bass as if it was a sword with which to run him through.

She knew that it was a dangerous idea, but when she had gotten the call from _The Tonight Show_ asking the band to show up and be the surprise guest, Rey had been too excited to perform to think it through. Now she found herself backstage, bass in hand but chest to chest with Kylo, and suddenly she understood the appeal of bring _With the Resistance_ on as last minute musical guests, given the events the day before. Suddenly she wondered if there was a conspiracy against her, if Kylo had put the producers up to it, but his confusion was apparent in his awkward limbs, and now she was worried that he wouldn't be the one surviving tonight.

Her shoulders squared on reflex, and Rey wasn't sure if she was trying to appear tougher, or if she was trying to show off her chest. Her cheeks flushed with that realization, but still, she was trying not to care, brushing her hair back. Despite it all, she felt ridiculous now, glancing at her outfit with a judgmental eye. The bandeau and leather jacket had seemed daring hours ago, and she had felt so sexy in her hot pants, but now, as her ex-boyfriend's eyes swept over her frame, his face stricken, she was ready to bolt.

"You…look amazing." Her breath left her lungs suddenly, as if he knocked her on her back. Rey found herself slinging her bass over her shoulder, found herself smiling up at the lanky singer, found him flushing scarlet, the color darkening his ears, reaching the back of his neck even.

"Thank you." She could have sworn that he shivered when she put a hand on his arm, and she was questioning her own limbs, wondering why she would do that, seemingly inviting him in instead of pushing him away, but then her name was being called again. The assistant producer was beckoning her to her spot onstage, and as she turned away, heels clacking pleasantly on the floor, a strange calm seeped into her, and she smiled.

The smile widened as the lights came up on her, as she heard Poe take his place to her right, as she heard Finn count them off, as she looked into the wings and saw Kylo's dark eyes burning into hers. Rey would wonder later if she was just trying to drive him crazy, now two songs deep in the set, stripping off her jacket, hearing the crowd go wild as she danced and sang. She could feel her bandmates' wonder permeating her frame, knew that they would wonder what she was up to, now as she crooked her finger at the man offstage, now as the crowd went crazy as Kylo hesitantly left the safety of the curtains.

There would be no sure answer to their questions, Rey realized as she slinked up to her former boyfriend, watching him tense up at her gentle hand on his face, watching the conflict play in his eyes. She was dancing like this because she wanted to, singing this song because she wanted to, getting close to him again because _she wanted to._

Did she fear him still? Yes.

Did she know that everything could still go to hell, that she would crash and burn and cry if everything crumbled up like the ash at the end of cigarette? Of course.

Did she want him, maybe even love him more now? Oh god _yes._

Rey knew that post performance high was always a real and present danger for her, as silly as it seemed. As far as popstars go, she was a good girl. Tonight would be the exception she decided, sizing up Kylo, forcing herself to remember the TV cameras taking in her every move. She tore herself away from his presence, breaking her orbit around him as she strode across the stage, trying to place reasonable doubt about their relationship, but failing as she threw a wink at him over her shoulder. She didn't care if Finn was practically blushing at the particularly lewd lyric that curled around her tongue, if Poe was trying to figure out if her song choices for their set were intentional. Earlier that day, the answer would have been no. She had tried to find more neutral songs from the album to perform, had tried to consider his feelings instead of hers.

Instead, she had perhaps considered her desires too much, realizing now that the chosen songs focused on their happier times, now as she approached him again, the tender look in her eye unmistakable on camera. When the final note rang out, when the final chord had been played, Rey wouldn't notice that the production team had spotlighted her and Kylo, let alone that his arms were securely around her waist.

It wasn't until she was offstage, in the green room, sitting between a stunned Finn and Poe, would she even realize that she had jumped into Kylo's arms and kissed him, her lips tingling, cheeks warm. Rey didn't try to stop her fit of giggles now, glancing at the small television in the corner as a slightly rumpled and blushing Kylo was being heckled by Phasma and their host about the kiss.

Poe all but groaned when he heard Rey murmur, "I'm going to dinner with him after the show," Finn practically face palming, but smiling all the same. They knew that they couldn't stop Rey if they tried, and by this point, it was better to let her go, to work Kylo out of her system. That was their hope, as well as their only option, linking hands and wearily following the energetic vocalist up the hallway now. They could hear the audience cheering and begging for an encore, and it didn't surprise the duo when Rey suggested Kylo to join them, their hands easily finding the duet's tune on their instruments.

Despite themselves, the two male members of _With the Resistance_ smiled, absentmindedly playing at this point, their focus on Rey. Her grin would hurt her cheeks, but they were grateful for the sight, knowing that they owed it to the lanky man beside her now. Despite themselves, they would allow this. It was their only option at this point.


	13. Stay the Night

"Just for tonight, Kylo. Please?" She watched him pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing that way he did when he was trying to say no, trying not to be swayed. In fairness to him, she wasn't being fair to him. Despite her feelings, that confusion laced bundle of regret and fear, a few glasses of wine at dinner had spurred her on, fueled her bravery, and now she stood before him, jacket falling off one shoulder, heels in her hand, trying to look innocent despite the scarlet flush on her cheeks. She watched him consider her again, and she bit her lip.

He heaved another sigh, threw up his hands in exasperation as she pouted at him."This will only make things worse, Rey. You know that as well as I do. No." Kylo watched her lip quiver and swore under his breath, wishing that he could give in, but no. This was him, and this was Rey. Even if she hadn't been drunk ("Only a bit tipsy," she would correct him in the morning), given their current relationship status, this would have been an awful idea.

"This won't change anything. I'm just spending the night. Nothing more."

"If it doesn't change anything, then why are you pushing so hard? Going back to your room won't change anything either." Rey glared at him, and despite himself, he felt his gaze sharpening to pierce her. So much for being a gentleman.

It was a heated, albeit hushed, argument, and in the back of his mind, Kylo worried that the paparazzi would flood the hotel's hallway at any moment, tipped off by a nosy housekeeper, but at the front of his mind, he had more important things to worry about. Namely, that Rey wanted to spend the night.

If this had been a year ago—hell, even two months ago—this wouldn't have been an argument. It wouldn't have even been a discussion, just a hasty agreement. He sighed at himself, looking at a flushing Rey, wondering if she was testing him.

Yes, she had kissed him.

Yes, he wanted her—in more ways than one.

But this wasn't how he wanted their reunion to be.

Again, if this had been him a year ago, he'd have been the cad to jump at the chance of spending the night with his beautiful (but still ex) girlfriend. But this was now, and he was redeemed—or attempting redemption, he corrected himself, sucking in a breath as Rey pushed into him, her arguments falling on deaf ears as Kylo tried to focus on anything but how close she was. He had hoped that she would wear herself out by now, that he could call Finn or Poe, and he could rehash the night's events alone, but this was Rey. He should know better by now.

He shook himself out of his thoughts now, realizing that Rey was no longer trying to seduce him, her head lolling sleepily on his shoulder, squinting up at him now in her attempt to stay awake. Kylo cursed at himself, giving in as he nudged her up gently, swiping his keycard in defeat. "We need to tell your bandmates where you are. Give me your phone."

She waved him off, mumbling, "I told them that I was spending the night with you." If he hadn't been so frustrated in his attempt at resisting her, he'd have laughed. Instead, he wore a pained smirk, sweeping Rey up into his arms as he tread through the spacious suite, toeing the bedroom door open. He was determined to tuck her in, retreat to the living room for the night. Kylo thought he was close, dropping the girl softly on the bed, watching her stretch out and flop about on the bed.

Despite himself, he smiled, trying to ignore how brightly she smiled back at him, trying to ignore how his heart squeezed with guilt as she beckoned him to join. Kylo shook his head, pulling away from her reach, not realizing that he had crouched at the bedside, that her hand was on his face.

"Not tonight, Rey." She felt his lips on her forehead, knew in her mind, though fuzzy, that he was trying to do his best. Rey mumbled something at him, and she knew that in the morning, she wouldn't remember her words.

As he made a bed on the couch, settling back now, he knew that he had done the right thing, that he had accomplished what he ultimately needed to do to salvage his relationship with her. Still, his chest ached, and Kylo forced himself to roll over, to avoid staring at the door, falling asleep with her words in his ears.

"I love you."

 **…**

Rey woke the next morning with the sunlight streaming in, her head pounding in tandem. She groaned, rolling away from the window, spying the glass of water on the bedside table, the aspirin in a neat little cup next to it. Forcing herself to sit up, she could hear the theme music of _Good Morning, America!_ in the living room. It was the pair of sweatpants and the oversized sweater that reminded her that this was not her hotel room.

With that realization, her head was in her hands, mortification hammering at her harder than the hangover. With hesitant movements, she slipped out of bed, shedding her suddenly constricting performance clothes, donning the offered garments, attempting to ignore how warm and comforting they were on her frame. There was a tinge of cologne left on the sweater, and if it hadn't been for her activities the night before, she'd have enjoyed it. Now she tried to ignore it, shaking the pills into her hand, downing the water carefully.

When she recovered a tinge of her bravery, she ventured into the living room, settling into a seat on the couch to focus on the talk show. Kylo glanced at her from his perch on the other side of the couch, but didn't push, keeping quiet.

It was after Ginger Zee's weather report did he hear Rey's mumble, and he turned to focus on her again. "What?"

"I'm sorry. Last night…was not my best moment." She did a double take as she felt his hand creep around hers, his thumb brushing across her knuckles before he brought her hand to his lips. "It's okay. You did nothing wrong."

"I…I tried to force myself on you." Kylo snorted at her now, unable to contain his laugh as he shook his head. "Hardly. You did try, but forcing? Anything but. I think you wanted my bed more than my body." Rey felt herself flush, and she almost wish that it was from the wine, resting her head on her free hand, feeling tears tightening her face, her chest. She couldn't be sure why she wanted to cry—because of embarrassment, or because he was trying to behave for her. He could have been a jerk the night before, but instead, he had given up his bed, made sure she was safe.

"Rey… oh baby, don't cry." She realized now that her face was in her hands, that he was pulling her against his chest, that she was crying, yet again. Still, she wouldn't have wished it any different, this moment. His hands were on her face, thumbs brushing across her cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears. Despite herself, she let herself surge forward for a kiss.

Kylo wasn't sure if he was allowed to meet her halfway, but she pulled him closer, and he gave in, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her into his lap. Her headache somehow lessened, and she wondered how he could have this effect on her. It wasn't a thought she could think about for long, however, pulling away as Robin Roberts announced:

"Here for a surprise interview is Hux, formerly of _The Knights of Ren!"_

The two singers glanced at each other, and Kylo made a move to switch the channel. "No." Rey surprised herself, feeling nauseous now. "Leave it on." She felt his arms wrap tighter around her, and she held her breath, hoping that her world didn't crash down around her again as Hux sat down onscreen.


	14. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

Hux glanced at the dressing room mirror, considering what he had just done. At least, had he dragged Kylo through the mud on television, he would reason that he was just getting back at the singer. But no, he had gone on and apologized—albeit insincerely—and invited Rey to collaborate with him on a new song. He smirked now at the memory of his interviewer's surprise, a sentiment echoed throughout the audience. All had been too stunned to speak, let alone boo.

Did he actually want to make peace with the girl who had practically ruined his life and career? Of course not. But collaboration was the best way to get close enough to her to attempt to turn her against Kylo again—or perhaps even thrust her out of the spotlight completely. Hux mused at this prospect, steepling his fingers as he thought. Both had their own appeal.

Turning Rey against Kylo, yet again? Well, that would just humiliate Kylo even more this time around, seeing how he was attempting to clean up his act. It would also make Rey and her band more vulnerable, so who knows how much Hux could manipulate her then?

But forcing Rey out of the spotlight? That would prompt Kylo to follow, ideally, but furthermore…depending on what he could get his hands on to use against her, he could ruin her completely. There was a tiny pang of sympathy, or possibly his conscience, but Hux was not accustomed to utilizing either of those things, so he just ignored it.

Pushing himself up out of his chair, he began to pace. Before working with _With the Resistance_ the first time, _The Knights of Ren_ had been briefed about certain things not to talk about, under any circumstances. Hux hadn't paid attention, as he had planned to basically avoid the band once out of the studio, but if memory did serve, a majority of the topics must have had to do with Rey.

He had rubbed elbows with Poe before, and knew he had had a decent childhood. Finn was a slight possibility, seeing that the drummer had kept to himself and shrank away from sensitive topics concerning childhood. But Rey was a complete enigma. For all the music industry knew, Rey had strode into LA with her bass on her back, and that was when she had been "born."

So to involve, say, a private investigator in this matter…. Oh, it would be too good. Hux had the money, the time, and the need for vengeance. All he had to do was call…

His phone buzzed, and he jerked in surprise, not expecting the number that flashed across the screen. Kylo. He steeled himself, thumb finding the call button. "Kylo." Despite being on the receiving end, Hux could never resist taking a challenging tone with his former bandmate.

"No. This is Rey." He jerked again, as if shot, smoothing his face now in an attempt to remain calm. "Rey. What a surprise."

She snorted, and he smirked into the phone. He expected her to agree, to blindly accept so as to bitch him out, but instead, he was the one blindsided as he heard her murmur, "I just wanted to congratulate you on your interview. It was an…interesting way to start the morning."

"Of course. Did you consider my offer?" There was a pause, and for a moment, he thought she had hung up. Then he heard her take a breath, pressing on with, "I suppose I would've almost preferred you to insult me. I know Kylo does, seeing that it'd give him a reason to deck you."

"Oh, Kylo. Always with the temper. Still, my offer still stands, if you so desire."

"I think you already know my answer, Hux." Her tone was icey, and as the call disconnected, he wondered if he had gone too far. Shaking his head, Hux decided that there was no such thing, not when it came to revenge. He felt rage creeping into the back of his skull, and as his phone buzzed again, he hurled it at the mirror, cursing the girl who had taken his glory, the nobody who had usurped his fame.


	15. Misery Business

"Looks like the rain hasn't scared off the reporters," mused Phasma from her perch on the balcony, peering out on the mass of paparazzi congregated below. Rey only harrumphed in response, more intent on shoving her clothes into her suitcase, willing herself to be distracted from the frenzy she'd be walking into. This wasn't her best moment—fleeing from a hotel in the middle of the night, all thanks to a well-placed tabloid story, but such was her life. The singer glanced at the drummer, quiet and curious to the anticipating silence between them. In the adjoining room was Leia and Kylo, and in the next room over, Poe and Finn.

The two women could hear the hushed negotiations the frontman was having with his mother, who was assuming her role as Rey's manager. There wasn't time for a more elaborate reunion between the family members, not when Kylo was so intensely focused on protecting Rey's image. True, there were a few tense moments, including Leia accusing her son of leaking the story to the press and Kylo nearly losing his temper at her, but all in all, the Organa-Solos had reunited for the better, and Rey couldn't feel anything but grateful. Guilty, and yet grateful all the same.

Poe was surely comforting Finn, holding him close. There was a lump in her throat, and she swallowed it distastefully, well aware that Finn was blaming himself. Not that he had real reason to. Yes, he had met her before she was a singer, before she even left her little backwater hometown. Yes, he had been the person she ran to when she left the system at age 17, going off the grid until she was no longer a ward of the state. And yes, she was the reason Finn left _The Knights of Ren_ tour.

But no, he was not the leak. That was all on the shoulders of the many foster families that she left behind, had been taken advantage by. Her head tilted, eyes boring into the glass pane as Phasma shut the balcony's French doors, as rain tapped persistently. She did have to wonder why everything had to come back now. The one thing she was grateful of was that Leia had known about this since getting the band signed, had known and so taken any and all legal precautions against the many bitter souls she left behind in the foster system.

True, a certain Mr. Plutt had attempted to profit on knowing her, had attempted to harass her when her cellphone number had been leaked with the story—but that was resolved by simply handing Kylo the phone and letting her lover deal with him. She remembered how Leia's eyes hadn't flickered in that moment, when Kylo snarled one of many threats into the phone at the (probably petrified) man. Instead, her manager had simply shrugged it off, scolding her son at one point: "Ben, don't make promises that you can't keep. Make promises our lawyers can keep."

Perhaps it was in that moment did Rey fully fear her potential future mother-in-law.

And Phasma…well, Phasma kept out of it for the most part. When the story first broke, Rey had nearly turned to her, had almost asked her if she knew, if she had been the potential leak. One look at the drawn and pale face, one terse head shake had stopped the question in her throat. Rey had never seen the steely blonde cry, but a moment during the story's first broadcast showed the singer a crack in the drummer's psyche, the hand swiping a tear from her face almost imperceptible had Rey been focusing on the TV instead.

There must have been a moment that there was a knock at the door, Kylo coaxing her into her coat, her hands tight around her bag, but she couldn't remember it. There must have been a moment that she found herself packed between her manager and her lover, both clasping her hands tightly, both stroking her hands with their thumbs, their movements in sync and comforting. Constant, which was all she wanted in this moment. Rey focused only on the warmth of their hands, the fierce protection allowing her to retreat into herself, even if only for a moment. Then the elevator lurched, and the chime sounded like a death knell, and she found herself gripping their hands, attempting to anchor herself.

She could feel Kylo's hand on her shoulder, ready to tug her into his chest when they emerged from the hotel, but Rey knew that she wouldn't allow it. It was her time to protect them. It was because of her that their reputations were at risk. She had known that rejecting Hux would lead to the fiery barrage of flashing cameras, that her Pandora box would suddenly become public, her personal suddenly gossip fodder. She hadn't anticipated what could come of it, and frankly, she still didn't know. All she did know was that they were trying to calculate a risk that wasn't theirs to claim, and that it wasn't fair to any of them.

The story broke fourteen hours after she ended the call to Hux. Poe had seen the headline first, flashing across the screen on TMZ, and Leia had called within minutes of the story's debut. Rey sighed now, smoothing her hair back as she accepted the sunglasses Finn offered her now, sliding them down, glancing at Kylo. They looked ridiculous, both with sunglasses, stereotypical celebrity couple, but it gave Rey a bit of comfort to see him at her side still.

When Leia had flown into New York, made her entrance in the hotel room that _With the Resistance_ had cloistered themselves in, Rey expected Kylo to flee. Quite the opposite, actually. The reunion went smoothly, with son flying into the arms of his mother, with quiet tears and apologies and promises exchanged before Kylo blurted out, "What can we do about the story? How can we help Rey?"

She glanced over at Phasma, who smirked at her over Poe's head, the two bands and manager huddling in the doorway, preparing themselves to emerge for the first time in a week, and she wondered if the blonde had a hand in the easy reunion of mother and son. It wouldn't surprise her, seeing that it was Phasma who had called Leia, that it was Phasma who urged Kylo to stay close to Rey.

The singer felt her hand being squeezed, and she wasn't sure if it was her bandmates or her manager, but she didn't care. This real crisis was near, and despite herself, she let Kylo pull her closer. She steeled herself as he squeezed her, as he found her eyes despite the dark lens, as they exchanged a knowing nod.

"Let's go."

Rey Kenobi had been more prepared than Hux could have anticpated, and she tried to bite back a smirk as Poe and Finn lead them into the monsoon of reporters. She knew that the headlines tomorrow would have her steady face, her hidden smile, plastered in every angle imaginable.

It was up to her how the headlines would read. Unfortunately for Hux, Rey was not one to weep for the camera. Instead she smiled, her toothy grin surprising Leia, but still, the manager fought to quell her own smile now, watching her son surge ahead, fingers intertwined with the singer, a silent joy despite the stormy circumstances.


	16. Time To Dance

He wasn't sure if he could call this a success anymore.

Hux swore to himself, scrolling through the headlines, biting the inside of his cheek until he could feel the blood dampen his tongue. There were reasons why he didn't always rely on the press, he mused, swiping through the many pictures of her, her smile glaring brightly from his phone's screen.

Yes, the first day after the story broke had been more to his liking, the many pictures of Rey and her entourage fleeing the hotel making him gleeful in the hope that he had humiliated her, that she was running away. He had returned to LA himself, smile wide, congratulating himself.

And then she had contacted him, and everything he knew fell to pieces.

"Meet me." Her voice was pleading, and suddenly he wasn't understanding why a smile was curling on his lips, why he seemed to like this desperate tone in her voice. He brushed it off, figuring it was because she was at his mercy, that she was wounded and wanted his vengeance to be over.

"I'm sorry, Kenobi; can you repeat that?"

"Meet me. Please. We need to talk—you can't just keep being passive aggressive. You can't just keep trying to scare me off. We are adults—we need to sort this out accordingly." Hux wondered for a moment if he was being set up, if he would meet the small, vulnerable singer, only to be greeted with her paramour's fist, but he brushed it off.

Just another moment to be captured by the paparazzi. Just another reason for their public images to crumble.

But now, his hand was shaking as he held his phone, as he glanced up, took in his surroundings, his apartment quiet after the emotionally tumultuous night before.

He couldn't say that the headlines this morning were false, but still, after his meeting with Rey at that restaurant the previous evening, he was humiliated. Now, skimming a particularly detailed article, he groaned, cursing again, replaying the moment that she should've been under his thumb, in danger, threatened.

True, when she had arrived at the restaurant, she seemed drawn, her eyes downcast as the waiter led her to the table, as she seated herself. But no, there was that smile, that steely look in her eyes, the same one that he had seen when she fled the hotel a week prior.

Suddenly, he was the uncomfortable one, watching her unfold her napkin, clearing her throat and forcing a smile.

"I was told that I may dance with the devil one day. No one said that I'd have dinner with him though." He felt himself chuckle at her barb, sweeping his hands out as he shrugged, trying to relax.

"I've never been one for dancing."

She waved her hand at him, regarding him coldly now. "So does selling your soul pay well? Seeing that you haven't had much income since your label dropped you."

Rey's eyes narrowed at him as he clucked his tongue at her, finger waving at her as if she was a child. "I was only dropped from the band. Besides, selling other artists' secrets… now that pays well." He was getting his nerve back, boldness taking over as he reached across the table, taking her hand in his, smiling as she attempted to yank it from his grasp.

"Do I repulse you that much, Rey?"

"Are you really that stupid, Hux?" He laughed, letting her go, watching her huff indignantly. "I am surprised that you wanted to meet. Where's your little lapdog tonight?"

"If you're talking about Kylo, then I'm happy to inform you that he's just outside." The comment was casual, and she ignored his raised eyebrow as she took a drink of her water, raising her own brow at him as she set the glass down. "Are you so surprised? Seeing what you've done in the past few months, there's no reason for me to be alone with you, and this was as close as I could get to being completely alone with you."

He had to concede to that, picking up his menu now, trying to avoid the look Rey was giving him, trying to remember why he had agreed to meet her. He was going to mock her, yes, but suddenly it was clear that she was the one in control at this point, her hand coming up and yanking the menu down, forcing his eyes to meet hers.

"Why are you doing this?" It was a reasonable question, but it was one that he hadn't been asked, even by himself. He considered for a second, glancing at the girl across from him again, realizing, perhaps for the first time, that she was pretty. That shouldn't have helped his answer along, but it did.

"Because I was jealous, Rey." The words were quiet, and maybe she wasn't expecting them, her eyebrow quirking again, her lips tightening.

"Jealous of me? If you think I stole Kylo from you, let me just say that he was never yours to begin with." He shook his head at her, thinking back to meeting her. Perhaps, at the beginning, he was more concerned with the band's wellbeing, jealous with how much time she was taking away from the band via Kylo.

But somehow, it warped to something more. He couldn't tear his eyes from her now, scrutinizing her, attempting to figure out what he felt towards the girl. It was something twisted, he was sure, considering the pleasure he had derived from her humiliation, but there was always something else there.

Whatever it was, it caught his tongue, pricked it, kept it pinned to the bottom of his mouth, his lips unable to open, his eyes confused and reminding Rey of a lost child. For a moment, her face softened, remembering her face back when she was alone, only an orphan trying to make her mark on the world.

But that wouldn't give her privacy back, even if she was to destroy the man before her, completely vulnerable, completely defenseless in this moment. She leaned forward, knowing that by now, the other patrons had recognized them, that there would be a paparazzo there any moment, followed by another, and another. Still she dared to lean close, dared to whisper, not caring at how he shivered.

"My, Hux, how odd you act for being a man in love." She stood now, smoothing her skirt, looking at the stunned man before her. Rey didn't particularly care that she didn't know exactly why Hux had insisted on being so cruel to her, but from the jarred look on his face, she knew that she hit close to home.

She knew her smile couldn't be anything but mocking tonight, but she couldn't help the grin tugging at her cheeks, now as she turned away, now as she left the man to unfurl at the seams of his suit.

 **...**

Today, Hux looked at the headlines screaming _"Former Knights of Ren Bassist—in love with former best friend's girl?",_ looked at his wild eyes, his aghast face, caught by the paparazzi as he attempted to follow Rey out of the restaurant, attempted to make sense of his conversation, his feelings.

No, Hux really couldn't say that his revenge was successful anymore.


	17. Miss Jackson

She wasn't sure if she would find him here, so she was relieved to see his car parked haphazardly out front. Phasma sighed, pushing her sunglasses up off her face, the bags under her eyes dark in the bright LA sun as she approached the private gym, the aggravated yells doing nothing to defer her.

She had seen her bandmate more pissed off before, so frankly she wasn't afraid of him. No, she was more afraid for Rey, who didn't know where Kylo went when he was angry, when he was upset, when he was going to explode.

Unfortunately, Hux was giving him a lot of reasons to blow up lately.

The blonde wasn't sure how the meeting with Hux went all those weeks ago, remembering how Rey was tucked under Kylo's arm upon returning, tired and drawn and drained. He, on the other hand, looked like he was simmering under the surface, and when he took off after seeing the petite singer to bed, Phasma knew where he was going. In the morning, when he came in, fists black and blue from the punching bag, the drummer had said nothing, sliding a cup of coffee his way, going back to reading her emails.

Then came Hux's publicity stunts, and she never saw Kylo so close to murder as he did when the ginger haired bassist cornered Rey on a day out with Poe and Finn, the paparazzi going completely insane at the situation: Hux trying to hold Rey, her bandmates coming to the rescue, the escape.

Kylo was gone that night, and the day after, his girlfriend fretting and shutting herself up in her studio, emerging every so often with a new song, a new tune, anxious eyes hoping to see her soulmate walk through the door, attempting to bury her worry in her work.

It continued on like this, the pattern reliable but still frustrating.

Hux would attempt to get at Rey, to talk to her, to impress her. Rey would panic and get away, hoping for comfort and understanding in her partner. Kylo would retreat to work out his anger, try to calm down when all he wanted to was strangle Hux. Rey, in turn, would retreat into herself, and her bandmates would worry on the sidelines, quietly trying to fix things. (Poe calling lawyers, arranging a restraining order, Finn paying out of pocket for more security guards when Rey went out). And she, Phasma, would quietly sit back, biding her time, waiting for her bandmate as she sat up nights with Rey, passing her coffee, offering her support as she watched the young girl scribble lyrics on napkins, the poor child attempting to drown her demons in music notes, in songs.

Then Hux released a song, and Kylo had gone missing for a week. She grimaced now as she shoved the door in, shoulder aching at the force needed, but she pushed it aside, stepping over one of many destroyed punching bags.

His back was to her, and she leaned against the wall, arms crossed, waiting for him to finish, to tire, his fists flying, his breaths reminding her of those cartoon bulls when they came across something red. When he finally did pause, lapsing into an almost disquieting lapse of calm, she pushed herself forward, coming to stand beside him.

"You must really wish that was him." If he was startled, he didn't show it, instead forcing a chuckle, glancing at her over his shoulder.

"What do you want, Phas?" She rolled her eyes, knowing that it was nothing personal, his harsh tone owing more to his raw vocal cords, his angry screams, than to annoyance with her. The drummer circled her friend, letting worry show now, trying to forget the buzzing phone in her pocket, trying to forget for a moment that Finn was on the other end, hoping for good news to tell Rey.

"You went AWOL for a week without telling anyone. I just wanted to confirm that you were okay." She waited a beat, seeing indifference in his eyes for a moment, before a thought dawned on him.

"Shit. Rey…"

"Is worried as hell, you twat. It didn't occur to you that she needs you right now? That she needs you with her, not out and about, destroying helpless gym equipment?" She felt herself getting angry, felt the heat rising to her face, forcing her hand down, resisting the urge to slap him. She couldn't stop remembering how Hux had bombarded the poor girl with texts, taunting her, asking her where Kylo was, insisting that he was better, that he would make her happier. She remembered how utterly helpless Rey had looked, no longer steely, just tired, so ready to walk away from it all, dissolving into tears in the kitchen, Finn and Poe swooping in instantly to hold her.

That day was one of the hardest for Phasma. She didn't want to remain the stoic then, sitting by, willing things to work themselves out, staying out of the way. No, that day, she had nearly called both Hux and Kylo, made them listen to Rey's tears, to convince Hux to leave her alone, to convince Kylo to come home.

But she hadn't. And in that sense, she had failed.

Kylo watched the drummer struggle to keep calm, wondering how she was able to do it. When Hux had released the song (and the subsequent music video), it took everything inside him not to drive to the smarmy bassist's apartment, to put his head through a wall. There were gouge marks in his steering wheel now, his nails having dug into the leather, and now he realized how close he could have come to crashing, so blind in his rage that he didn't glance at the speedometer, didn't care that he was going over too far over the speed limit, almost hoping to spin out of control.

How selfish of him, he realized, suddenly becoming aware of his phone, heavy in his back pocket, turned off and therefore silent, Rey having no way to know where he was.

Of course, being selfish was what he was used to. Phasma knew that as well as him—she did find him here, after all. But Rey didn't know him as selfish. She knew him as something completely different, and for him to revert to the punk pop prima donna he had been before….

Well, he had failed her.

He should have been at her side when the video came out, when it first aired on TV. He should have joked about how unoriginal it was, looking like Panic! At The Disco's "Miss Jackson", tried to distract her from it all. But no, he chose to distract himself—and now…where was she?

Beside him, Phasma tensed up, having finally checked her phone, recognizing that the buzzing wasn't from multiple text messages, but from phone calls. Frantic ones, her call log cluttered with Poe and Finn's numbers, their messages the same, their voices the same.

 _Rey's gone—is she with you? Call us back ASAP. We can't find her._

Her stomach began to sink, her mind instantly bringing back a late night conversation, bringing back a quiet remark the singer had murmured, her finger tracing the coffee mug's lip, wistful.

"One of these days, I'm going to have to go back. Hux thinks I'm ashamed of my past…but I'd be perfectly okay with going back to it all if it gets me away from him."

"What about Kylo?" Phasma remembered how absentminded the comment was, how she didn't take Rey seriously at all.

"Kylo… well, he's not exactly here to stop me." There was a pause, then a sigh as the singer had pushed herself up, dishes clattering as she opened the dishwasher, deposited her cup. "He's not here…and I don't know if he would stop me anyways. Not now. Not after Hux." Another pause, then she had turned away, gone to bed.

And now…she had left them.


	18. LA Devotee

"You know that you can take a break, right?" Rey started at the question, glancing back at her temporary coworker/roommate/savior Jessicka, the older girl perching herself next to the musician with a quiet sigh. The sigh grew louder as Rey waved her off, smiling. "I'm fine. It's just folding silverware, not rocket science."

Jessicka snorted, shaking her head as she joined the celebrity in composing the meal packets. Despite herself, she found herself watching Rey warily, wondering what could possibly be going on in her mind.

It had been three weeks since the singer had turned up in this sleepy little town, filled with babyboomers who didn't care about pop culture or alternative rock. Three weeks since Jessicka had taken her in, sharing her home and her restaurant with the bassist. She hadn't asked much of her guest, though she still was a bit starstruck—but who wouldn't be if a famous singer happened upon their doorstep?

No, Jessicka knew better than to ask Rey what brought her here, having seen snippets of the news, having heard Rey beg her to keep her secret and hidden. It wasn't the woman's place to pry, especially now as she looked over the girl again, her eyes darkened by exhaustion, lids a bit pink from too many tears.

Rey could feel her coworker's stare sitting heavily on her, but she let it be, grateful that it was the stare of only one person and not a million. True, it wasn't the stare of one particular person, but she didn't exactly expect to see _him_ again.

She smoothed a napkin down, binding the silverware packet before dropping it into her pile, considering her hands in an attempt to get her mind off Kylo, looking at the softening calluses, having traded in bass strings for carrying plates of food. It was futile, as usual, a fact that had her curling her hands into hiding.

She couldn't even say that she had a real reason for leaving. Had she been scared? Yes. Did she feel alone, misunderstood? Also yes. But that didn't change the regret that had been welling up inside her since her first night gone, or the fact that she ached to be back in the arms of the man who brought all of this attention the day they met.

That much hadn't changed. It was only her fear and her pride keeping her rooted her in this quiet desert town. If her heart had its way though, she'd have found her way back to Kylo.

Since running away, since deserting her band and LA, Rey had attempted to wean herself off of yearning for him, attempted to tell herself that he wouldn't even notice that she was gone. Anger burned at her for a second, then extinguished as she sighed now, knowing that it wasn't fair to think that, that he had been trying to control himself, that he was probably looking for her right now.

She just didn't know if she wanted to be found, though. Rey could feel this in how she always flinched at the vibration of her burner phone, at the restaurant's bell tinkling when a customer walked in, in how she dreamed of Kylo finding her, only to walk away from her in the end. She forced the lump in her throat down, focusing now on Jessicka's voice, realizing now that she was being talked to.

"Karaoke is tonight—are you going to sing?" They both knew the answer; it was just routine for Jessicka to ask every week, on Sundays and Thursdays, and for Rey to smile and shake her head no, not tonight, the regulars wouldn't approve of her song choice, she'll just stick to waitressing for tonight, thanks. Today, though, she didn't answer, letting the question stay in the air, hanging overhead as they finished their task, biding their time before the dinner rush, the bar deserted and quiet.

Rey pushed herself up with a small groan, her gaze focused out the restaurant's front window, thoughts drowning out the clink of metal as her companion gathered the silverware. In the distance, she could see the road sign proudly proclaiming the twenty-five miles separating her from her childhood nightmares, and practically screaming the 245 miles that she had put between herself and LA. She stood there, alone, considering her dilemma, wondering how her life had come to be something less desirable than her past, a flash of bitterness whipping through her for a moment when she considered the moment that her past and present had intersected, when control had slipped from her grasp.

Behind her, the bar's TV hummed, the volume too low for her to hear, the news carrying on without an audience to catch her picture across the screen, Kylo's face weary as he talked with reporters, a replay from the noon edition. She had no reason to look back, focusing on the view before her, squinting and trying to make out the message in the coming dust clouds along the road, too far for her to decipher any importance.

Rey sighed and smoothed her apron, turning as she headed to the kitchen. She couldn't say that her mind was made up—all she could say was that she was resigned to whatever would come. There wasn't any promise for her to hold onto from Kylo, and for all she knew, Hux was looking for her as well. If she was destined to live out her life working in this little bar in the middle of nowhere, she'd accept it and be grateful.

After all, it's more than she would have wished for growing up. She didn't deserve a second chance after throwing her successful, albeit sometimes unhappy, life away.

"I changed my mind, Jessicka. I'll sing tonight." Rey didn't hear the familiar black town car pulling into the parking lot over her companion's surprised shout for joy, her mind too focused on getting Kylo out of her head for tonight at least. Just for tonight.


	19. The Good, The Bad, and The Dirty

Kylo had never been in a town this small. This thought flickered into his mind as he warily parked the town car, looking out at all three miles that the town seemed to consist of. Even Rey's hometown, just twenty-five or so miles down the road had been bigger, accommodating the ragtag search party a bit better.

Twenty-five or so miles away, Phasma sat with Poe and Finn in their motel room, holding their breath, hoping that Kylo would bring Rey back. But he was frozen for now, staring blankly at the bar and restaurant before him, his eyes tired, sleep having evaded him since she left.

He can't remember the first thing he did when he got the news. He remembers the second, and the third, because they had been driving to Hux's apartment and punching the bastard in the jaw.

 _"Are you happy now, you asshole?!"_

Kylo sighed, absentmindedly cracking his knuckles, wincing a little at the sharp ache that followed. He kept forgetting that he managed to break his hand after punching Hux in the mouth the sixth time around. That hadn't stopped him—Hux's confused whimpering had, because how could the bastard know that he'd helped with driving Rey off?

 _"Idiot…I'm such an idiot."_ He remembers feeling a little guilty as he left the ginger laying there, against his wall, still stunned from the assault, silent.

Kylo hadn't heard from Hux, and he knew that Hux didn't have the balls to press charges, to admit why Kylo would have assaulted him to begin with. No, no one would want to take even partial blame for sending LA's sweetheart into hiding.

And now, now, hopefully she was close to being found. That fact didn't urge her paramour into action though, sinking back into the car's seat now, closing his eyes for a minute before he became vigilant again.

He sat in the car for a while, glancing at the flickering restaurant sign, there, with the giant red neon lit arrow. Sure, the arrow was pointing at the little building, announcing the best burgers in town, declaring itself as the best restaurant for miles around.

As far as Kylo was concerned though, the arrow was pointing him to Rey. The sky gradually darkened, and more cars pulled into the parking lot, but still he hesitated, warily looking at the passing patrons, all older.

For a moment, he feared that the tip had been wrong, thinking back to just the other morning, waking up, bleary eyed to his phone ringing. He had grabbed it, answered without so much as looking at the number, because maybe, hopefully, it was her. It wasn't, but still, it led him here, considering a smaller sign that read 'Karaoke on Sundays and Thursdays'.

He wondered if she still sang.

Maybe it was that thought, that question, that urged him up, finding himself at the door, pushing it open and stepping into the crowded busy pub. The activity was frantic, and he felt like he was going deaf from the older lady screeching "Can't Stop Falling in Love with You" into the mic. Luckily, a dark haired woman stepped up, gently prying the microphone away from the senior.

"That was beautiful, Maz. Give it up for Maz." There was a smattering of applause, and he awkwardly joined in, staring at the woman curiously. Her gaze fell on Kylo and she nodded knowingly at him. He realized that this must be Jessicka, the hushed voice on the other end of the phone, the one who had tipped him off, the one who'd be responsible for their reunion.

 _"I'm sorry if I woke you, but I saw your number on the news. Rey… She's here. She's safe with me."_ He remembered her whispering, no doubt trying not to wake the sleeping singer a few feet away when she called at four a.m.

Now she was in front of him, nodding at him still, still speaking to him quietly, leading him over to a seat at the bar. "Rey should be up in a second…she doesn't know that you're here. Not yet." She turned to go, hesitated. "She's missed you. She may try to say that she hasn't, but I know that she has. I see it in her eyes."

"Thank you." Jessicka smiled at him, turning away now, heading back to the stage, her stomach sinking with nerves as she watched the singer—her friend now, at the end of the day—joined her onstage, shy smile as she motioned to the guitar in her hand.

"Is it okay if I play one of my songs?" Rey saw Jessicka mouth "Of course," wondering for a moment why her smile seemed strained, if not nervous. She glanced out at the crowd, not realizing how bright the lights were even on this small platform, eyes squinting, making out the general shape of the crowd. In the back, by the bar, there was a familiar silhouette, but she pushed it aside, pulling the guitar close as she forced a smile.

"Good evening, everyone. I hope our food's better than usual, because maybe it will make up for my voice." She feigned a cough and smiled as the older crowd chuckled and murmured encouragement, quieting now to hear her embarrassed explanation of, "I'm a bit rusty."

From his seat, Kylo watched her nervous smile, completely taken in by her once again as she started to hum, plucking the instrument almost experimentally.

His heart squeezed almost painfully as she started singing their song, her voice low, almost as if she was trying to mimic his tone, match his pitch, make up for the fact that he wasn't with her. Her voice sounded so lonely without his mixing in, and he was taken back to that first recording session, to the night of their breakup, to the day they came back together. Her eyes were closed, and maybe she was trying to shut the world out and pretend that he was singing the song with her, or maybe she was imagining the song without him.

He didn't realize that he was singing too, not until she reached the chorus and her voice nearly broke as she drew in a shaky breath, becoming silent as her throat tightened with tears. Suddenly, he was up out of his seat, making his way to the stage and sitting at the edge, quietly looking up into her face, waiting.

Rey heard someone's footsteps, heard someone sit, but she didn't dare open her eyes, embarrassment washing over her. She never choked onstage, this being her first time as she screamed at herself in her head for thinking this song would be a good one, and she wished to be swallowed up.

She thought she was going insane when his voice broke open the silence, his croon quiet as he picked up the chorus, almost as if they were alone in the recording booth again. She cracked her eyes open, not seeing him, instead seeing the audience holding their breath, eyes trained on her feet. Rey glanced down, feeling herself pale then flush as his dark eyes burned into hers, hopeful but hesitant.

Kylo was afraid to look away, fearing that she would run again if he so much as blinked. Instead, she gingerly reached forward, hand brushing his face, sliding down to his neck, now his shoulder as she tried to steady herself.

"Kylo…" With his name leaving her lips, Rey threw herself into his arms, ecstatic despite the fear he'd still push her away. But no, he only steadied himself, arms wrapping tight around her, his tears dampening her hair as he whispered her name joyously.

"You're going to kiss her, aren't you?" Maz's question broke their embrace for a moment, Jessicka trying to hush her, but it was too late. Their attentions jerked back to the crowd, forgetting the seniors looking at them, both hopeful and confused.

Rey blushed, shaking her head, looking up at Kylo. "You can ignore Maz; she's a sucker for romanc-" His kiss silenced her explanation, and she sighed, content as her fingers threaded into his hair, as she pulled him closer.

The restaurant's patrons erupted into cheers, and Jessicka looked on, rolling her eyes but smiling despite herself. These two were going to be alright. She was sure of it, though she couldn't explain how. They'd chalk it up to Fate maybe, that odd force that pulled them together.

Whatever it was, the universe pulled these two stars together, a fact that made Kylo simper at his partner before they kissed again.

They were going to be okay. And really, that's all Rey needed to know. They'd figure the spotlight out together.


	20. Death of a Bachelor

"Rey! Rey, look over here!"

Kylo smiled down at his partner as she obligingly turned to the cameras, her red lips curled in a tight, amused and exasperated smirk. She could feel his mouth on her ear as he whispered, "What did you expect? They've missed you." She harrumphed, playfully smacking him with her clutch, his laugh nearly drowning out the red carpet commentators they were approaching.

It was the Grammy Awards tonight, and it had been a month, three weeks and four days since Rey had come back to him. Kylo only knew how long because Poe and Finn had jokingly set up a board in his condo, proudly boasting that it had been fifty-six days since Rey has gone AWOL.

Of the group, only Phasma had not been amused, rolling her eyes at the pair of jokers, quietly quipping, "This is why you two aren't invited to nice things," when the award show invite came for Rey—and only Rey. Kylo was sure that Finn didn't mind, seeing how he was trying to convince Poe to retire from the limelight with him. Poe, on the other hand, kept swearing up and down that he would leave stardom when he was dead—or when Hux retired and was no longer a problem.

Kylo absentmindedly pulled Rey close, the petite singer chuckling as she found her face tucked against her lover's suit. "Kylo, if you keep doing that, Poe is going to kill you for messing up my hair."

"What about your makeup?" She could tell that his attention was elsewhere, his gaze far off, brow furrowed. Still, she humored him, grimacing at her joke: "Well, then I suppose I can scare Hux off for good. He's never seen me without makeup."

Rey waited for the sardonic snort of laughter, but Kylo remained silent, pausing for a second to pose stoically, his eyes not on the photographers, his grip on her waist getting tighter.

"Wha-" She felt the question die on her tongue as she caught a glimpse of a shock of red hair in front of them in the procession line, stopped by the commentators they were quickly approaching. Rey felt Kylo try to divert them, but her hand was on his arm before she realized. "No, Kylo. Come on."

She could feel his dark eyes on her, staring at her quizzically as she all but made a beeline to Hux. Rey knew that she was dragging Kylo along behind her, that she was for sure going to end up on the cover of a thousand websites and magazines for her actions, but she had an important mission to carry out.

When she tapped him on the shoulder, Hux didn't look up at first, too focused on the boring interview he was being forced to take part of. But then she tapped him on the shoulder again, and the red-haired man couldn't help himself, glancing over and instantly doing a double take.

"Rey…" She smiled up at him, her hair down around her shoulders, unlike those times that he would see her the past year. To him, she was suddenly a different person—and maybe she was, no longer an innocent celebrity who dressed in white and purity. No, he could see Kylo's effect on her, from her elegant black dress to how she sized him up now. Hux knew there was a camera trained on them, and he could see Kylo awkwardly standing behind Rey, her grip on his hand seemingly tight as her lips remained quirked in a tight smile.

"Rey, I…" Hux stepped forward, and really he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. He knew that he should apologize, but now, as his gaze traveled up and down her frame, there was no assurance that he would apologize.

Perhaps luckily for him, he didn't get the chance to say anything. No, now his ears were ringing, and suddenly his gaze was not on her, but on the face of stunned reporters.

Kylo stood, dumbstruck, as Rey pulled her hand back down to her side, sweet smirk on her face as she looked at Hux evenly. "That's for leaking the story." She turned, as if to leave, and for a moment, he relaxed.

"Oh, right…" The two men could hear her quiet murmur, and Kylo quickly stepped back, out of the way, as she turned back to Hux, open palm meeting his other cheek, the reporters' quiet gasps being drowned out by the sound of her hand's contact. "That's for being an ass." She nodded, almost thoughtfully at her statement, turning now and dragging her stunned boyfriend behind her before Hux even had a moment to process what happened.

"Rey…love…you just smacked Hux." The petite singer didn't seem to hear as they scurried away moments later, seemingly more focused on finding the theatre's entrance so they could get to their seats. The tall guitarist almost wasn't sure that she had actually slapped his former bandmate, but as she glanced up at him, and smiled, he found himself caught between a laugh and a groan.

"Hey." She looked up at him and he laughed despite himself, leaning down resting his forehead against hers. "I'm supposed to be the bad one." Rey scoffed at that, pecking him on the nose as they waited to be beckoned forward to their seats.

"If you want to think that, love, you can. I just wanted to make my last magazine cover memorable." She glared at him as he laughed. "Your last one? Keep wishing, princess."

"What, like you have a way to make sure it's not my last one?" Kylo didn't answer, absentmindedly patting his pocket when Rey glanced away for a moment, confirming that the ringbox was still there and smiling to himself as it pleasantly clunked against his leg, ready and waiting.

"Would you be mad if I did?" She harrumphed at him again, leaning into him, fingers folding together as they linked hands, quiet among the sea of chaos as more musicians and celebrities filed around them, almost swallowing her murmured response. "I suppose not."

"Good." She felt his lips on her hair, and for a moment she debated whether or not to scold him again, deciding against it, closing her eyes. Her hands still stung from slapping that bastard, Hux, but Rey decided it was well worth it, humming contently as Kylo pulled her close again, as an usher nodded at them, waving them forward.

"Kylo…I love you." There wasn't a day that went by now that she didn't say that, didn't squeeze his hand tight, didn't look up at him as if to reassure herself that she was still by his side, that he was still here.

Rey felt her smile tugging at gently at the corners of her mouth as he kissed her hand, squeezed it back. "I know. I love you too." That was all that needed to be said, Rey decided as the theatre lights went down, as she settled back in her seat, waiting for the eventual cue for the pair to go backstage to get ready for their performance. She didn't need anything elaborate, not when she had him.

With him by her side, she could smile as if she didn't care about the glitz and glamour. Kylo felt her squeeze his hand again and smiled. "I know."

It had been fifty-six days since she had come back to him. Hopefully he could wait another thirty-seven minutes to ask her to stay with him forever.


End file.
